Overcoming travel fears

Its been a year and a half, but I'm finally making it back to complete the trip I never finished.  There's been a lot of unfinished travels, of the physical and emotional nature, but I know ill get there someday. Sometimes its just not the right time.

I remember how scared I was after having a knife held to my neck, broad daylight, people mere meters away on the street; yet there I was left behind, a frazzled heap on the floor, empty, robbed and defenseless. Going to Colombia then was a nonoption. I couldn't walk around by myself without jumping if someone so much as made eye contact with me.

Sometimes I think I'm invincible. I was at a point then where I did feel just that. I had no cares, no responsibilities, no restrictions, and no one could touch me. I was proven wrong, but in a way maybe it was a lesson to keep me in check and teach me that I have to pay attention to the world around me.  Now that I'm going back, I'm over my fear of Colombia, hopefully.

My four months were amazing, but I always felt that it was a brief glimpse of more to come. I went through a period of a few months last year where I allowed someone to convince me I could do it again, but longer and on a much larger scale. While everything this person told me was essentially a lie, the one thing that was true was that this is in my future. I don't know when the right time will be, but I feel it coming soon. I have a Google doc that has been updated every day, with tidbits of information of every place around the world I was meant to see. This will continue to be updated until the point in time when the stars align and something happens that allows me to take this journey.  New York is my home, but its never been big enough for me.  There are 1,000 places to see before you die, and I'm nowhere close to crossing them all off. I know, because that too became a Google doc ;)

I suppose the next fear I'll have to overcome is choosing more wisely who I can let convince me of anything and be allowed to join me.

Vive Colombia!

Very exciting news - I'm finally going to finish up the lovely continent of South America next month!  I just booked a trip to Colombia for late February - 10 days in Bogota and Cartagena.  Since I had to cut Colombia out of my initial trip, I've regretted it every day for the year and a half ever since!  I can't wait to go back to my favorite continent in the world!  Last year's vacations got a little bit messy - I had to change and cancel and remake all of my plans, but all worked out for the best since I ended up having a great time in Mexico at one of my best friend's weddings, and then took a small trip to Iceland in December.  Iceland was a really unique place, and contrary to popular belief I only came across two vikings and one Bjork (and she didn't even sing).  I'm going to the NYT travel show this weekend to find out as much as I can about Colombia, and also start gathering research for my (hopeful) trip to Thailand, Vietnam and Cambodia some point in 2013!
Separately, I don't think I ever noted this in here but - the book the Lost Girls - the one that inspired me to take this whole trip in the first place?  Well, it turns out that Amanda Pressner, one of the Lost Girls, actually works at my company!  One of my coworkers saw that I was a Lost Girl of the Week on my Facebook page and made the connection and introduced us.  We went for coffee and talked about both of our trips, and I felt like I was meeting a celebrity since I had read her whole life story and essentially followed in her footsteps.  And I loved that we're both at AMI now, and also both recently bought apartments in Brooklyn Heights!  Such a small world!

Travel Means Freedom

I subscribe to a ton of RSS feeds and blogs.  Skimming through my travel blogs one day, I came across a contest for a book, Travel Means Freedom.  The publishers were looking to create a book with contributions from a travel community, looking for 2-page stories about how travel means freedom to you.

I submitted my entry, Machu Picchu & Me, telling the story about my trek to MP with Becca, and how it opened up my eyes to extended travel and wanting to experience more of what I'd seen, and how a simple 4-day hike in the mountains turned me on to changing everything I knew; quitting my job, giving up my apartment and backpacking through South America.  I found out on Friday that my entry was picked to be in the book!  Which is so exciting, because while I've had a dream of extending my blog and filling in the MANY missing pieces I didn't have time to write about while down there and turning it into a joint book with Becca (From North to South and Somewhere In-Between), I haven't had any time to actually sit down and do this.  So in the interim, until I find the time to actually make this, I'll be able to share a little piece of this amazing experience with the world.

Thank you to the people at Travel Means Freedom for picking me to be a part of this!!
If you want to pre-order the book, here's the link!

http://wegetthere.com/travelmeansfreedom/pre-order/

Locke'd Out Again

I'm now at the point where I've been home nearly as long as I was gone.  So much has changed since I've come back.  My life is the same, but at the same time entirely different.  I've changed the way I look at everything, in a good way, and I think that throwing myself into a situation completely unknown opened me up to the ability to start every day not knowing what to expect, and be happy with the outcome.
This morning I went for a run along the promenade in Brooklyn Heights - the sun was out, the weather was perfect, and my ipod played the perfect selection of songs.  I was beaming as I ran the entire time - I think for the first time in as long as I can remember, I felt at place here.  I've always had mixed feelings about being in New York.  I felt that I was from here so it was my home, but I never felt like it was truly mine.  Today, I felt that for the first time.
I think that I wanted to leave for so long, that it became something that seemed like it couldn't be a reality.  So when I left, I was not only leaving my life behind, but challenging myself to prove I could actually take that step.  I still look at my pictures and feel a pang of sadness that I'm not there. I have flashback dreams about hiking through the most beautiful mountains I'll probably ever see, and not having a thought run through my mind other than acknowledging that I was in a moment where I didn't want to be anywhere else in the world.  I miss my friends, and meeting new people that made such an impression on me and changed me in ways I didn't know possible  I'll probably always have to listen to Giacchino to fall asleep at night. I still wonder what would have happened if I'd just stayed, instead of coming back to reality.  But now that I'm in a place that I love and most of the elements of my life are slowly falling into place, I can say, that the unsettled feeling I've always had lingering over me is starting to subside and I think it's going to be okay.

September updates!

So I know I didn't want to figure things out so quick, but as soon as I got back things kind of fell into place. Danielle, my BFF since college, hooked me up with a job at her company. She's moving back from San Fran, so we get to work together in a month which I'm so excited about. This will actually be the 3rd time we work together, if you count our job in the mall in college which I don't think she does so I won't either.
Then my friend Laurie had a friend looking for a roommate, and she found a great apartment that I don't want to jinx quite yet but it's brand new and amazing and right smack in the middle of commuting to the city and to my family and friends in Brooklyn. It's in Bourem Hill, which I think I am spelling wrong (or so says spell check), which is close to Brooklyn Heights, Smith Street, Bococ, Trader Joe's, and the only Equinox in Bklyn! Cross your fingers for me that I get it. If so I'll be moving out for 10/15. For the 7th time since college - 8 if you count South America, which I guess I can't since I didn't actually LIVE anywhere except a dorm in Banos for a couple weeks.
Training for the 1/2 marathon is going great. I mean, I actually hate running, but I did 8 miles last week and Caryn and I are scheduled to do 9 on Friday in Park Slope.  Just keep hoping that I don't get hurt again.
There's 5 weeks left til the marathon, and 4 weeks left til the Century. In between that are 2 weddings, and a trip to San Fran for work for training. Lots going on! I thought I would hate being a real person again but I don't mind it so much after all.
I decided if I get off for Christmas I'm going to try to get away somewhere - maybe somewhere in Central America since it's not nearly out of my system. Maybe Panama since that was the other spot I was looking at last Christmas, even though everyone told me it sucks there.  Next year, deciding between New Zealand, Spain, Greece and Indonesia.  I guess the spot will depend on who I'm going with. I'll start researching all the places so I'm prepared when the time comes. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!
Hope all my travel friends are doing great, and all my local friends, thanks for still reading :) I'll have one more batch of pictures coming if I ever develop this damn disposable camera that's been wasting away on the floor of my brother's room. Maybe this weekend at the TEAL Walk I'll finish it off and get those up here!

I know everything happens for a reason, but...

Ok, so...as you all know, a whole bunch of things happened that caused me to cut my trip short. I come home, and end up getting to go to Seattle to visit an old friend that I haven't seen in 10 years - and a hurricane hits. I was rebooked THREE times today for my flight tomorrow morning, before my flight was canceled altogether.

So I've decided that for whatever reason, god is trying to tell me to be at home with my family and Foxy so we can all die together in the Category 2 hurricane that's making it's way to NY.


I'm not actually trying to be melodramatic here, but I'm actually really scared. A lot of my friends had to evacuate already, and people like my grandma, who live TWO BLOCKS from the Atlantic Ocean, refuse to leave their homes and I'm scared for them. I think in a way it's actually better if I'm here because if something does happen, well - I think it would be worse if I had made it out to Seattle, or heard about it while on my way back from Colombia. So let's cross our fingers and hope for the best...

Thoughts from Brooklyn

Well I've been home just under 2 weeks now.  I'm so happy to get to see my family and friends, but i really do miss being away! NY in the summer is a calamity. I hate tourists like no other, and since my non-job is performing shops in midtown, I'm always stuck there at the most inopportune times. I'm staying at my parents, which is great except for the fact that my clothes are scattered everywhere and I can't actually find anything. The train to the city is 1.5-2 hours and always has delays. And Foxy seems to think my parents' green carpet is grass, which means I'm forced to walk her way more than I ever did (which, to be fair, was never).
I got really stressed out about working right away, since I feel like I'm technically supposed to be in Colombia now therefore should get to just chill for a month. I miss not having plans ever but deciding what to so every morning.  I'm trying to not make too many plans so I can still have that freedom. I got very sick as soon as I got home. The gluten issues kicked back in full force, probably because the food there had no chemicals and here everything seems to have soy, barley and malt, my 3 arch nemesises.
On the positive side, I've been doing lots of fun things. I'm training for a half marathon in SI in early
October, which gives me not only a goal, but something to occupy me during the week when people are all at work. There's no gyms in Sheepshead though so I'm forced to run outside and faint in the heat, or wait until my parents wake up at 1 pm so I can go on the treadmill in their room. I decided if I'm going to train, I want to also work on speed, so I put together this ridiculous schedule that I'm sure I won't follow but if I do, maybe will do the half at a pace of 8:30. In reality, I'm hoping I just don't end up getting 100 stress fractures again. It's been 3 days, so far so good!
Foxy now has a basket to sit in so she can join me on bike rides. She hates it and sits and glares at me every time we go over a bump. I love her so much and don't know why I enjoy torturing her this way.
What else. Todd threw me a welcome back party. That was really nice of him since I was def too lazy to do anything of the sort, and I've exceeded my limit of party throwing for the year!
I booked a weekend trip to Seattle to visit a friend from  HS that I haven't seen in 10 years. I had a ton of miles so the flight was doable too! I want to go more places while I'm still not working!
I'm still deciding where to stay. I had 2 interviews but was very clear that I'm willing to relocate. I'm still thinking maybe Chi but I'm not sold on their winter. Philly was another option but I see 0 jobs in adv there.
What else. Ive developed severe insomnia. I stay up all night watching Entourage and Curb (nice Pinkberry plug Larry David!), and playing with Spotify trying to find new songs to entertain me while training. If I hear my 80s mix again I might cry.
I'm still a little paranoid, even though people aren't Ecuadorian (except Roland, who even though he's only half I'm scared he might rob me still. Kidding!)
I actually was scared of my own shadow the other day, and I have to call someone on my 17 min walk home from the train station because I'm scared someone is going to attack me again. It's getting a tiny bit better, but only a little.
I do miss my travel friends! Everyone in Colombia keeps telling me how great it is and it makes me sad. But I'm still convinced with the bad luck streak I was having I was going to end up kidnapped. Sarah, James and Dan did the Santa Cruz trek in Huaraz that I skipped and I so wish I could have done it with them.
Since I've been back though I've remembered just how much I love NY. I love the parks. The diversity (not including Times Square tourists. Still on the hate list). The fact that after being in SA for 4 months, my favorite Latin restaurants are Sushi Samba 7 (Brazilian, Peruvian and Japi fusion), Pio Pio (Peruvian) and Caracas (Venezuelan).  Jack's does not count because even though it was in Peru it was an Aussie-run restaurant and I liked it mostly because they were the only people on the entire continent who knew how to make an egg white omelet.
On my walk home, one of the songs from Lost popped up. For some reason, I had downloaded 10 instrumental songs from Lost before I left that I listened to religiously while I was away. It put me to sleep at night, it played while I was on my marathon bus rides and it just relaxed me while I stared out the window at the amazing landscapes. I had it on when I reached whatever the top destination point when I was hiking. It became a constant for me (get it, Lost fans?) and when I was robbed, the first thing I thought was that I wasn't going to be able to fall asleep at night without listening to it. So tonight, as I was walking home, looking up at the sky and remembering that now that I'm back in the northern hemisphere, I'm no longer looking at the same sky (and getting sad while realizing this), the song came on, and instead of being sad that I'm not a little Latin free spirit hiking my way through the best continent in the world, I smiled because I realized that nothing is forever, and I'm just so lucky I got to be there at all, and so lucky to come back to a place that I love.